Dear Real Game Reviewers:
It’s ok. You don’t need to pretend this is a good game just because you enjoyed staring at a computer-ass for forty hours and then a whiny boy in short pants for another twenty.
- Mouth-watering ass-thong physics
- Fight three or four kinds of monsters! There’s tinker-toy guy, round ball, snake thing, and some easy bosses.
- Two combat settings: too easy or impossible.
- You will have no idea what is happening for most of the game and then you’ll find out it’s no deeper than any other JRPG bleep-blorp.
- Most of the alternate endings are different death screens with slightly different text on them.
There’s nothing interesting here. No neat level-up mechanics, no choices, no loot collection.
Mark’s Student Council Score: 10 ecchi boners out of 250 ecchi boners.
AND THAT’S MY STUDENT COUNCIL PROMISE TO YOU RACEFANS!
I am trying out some sweet Frankenculture catchphrases.