Game Review: Nier: Automata

Dear Real Game Reviewers:

It’s ok. You don’t need to pretend this is a good game just because you enjoyed staring at a computer-ass for forty hours and then a whiny boy in short pants for another twenty.


  • Mouth-watering ass-thong physics
  • Fight three or four kinds of monsters! There’s tinker-toy guy, round ball, snake thing, and some easy bosses.


  • Two combat settings: too easy or impossible.
  • You will have no idea what is happening for most of the game and then you’ll find out it’s no deeper than any other JRPG bleep-blorp.
  • Most of the alternate endings are different death screens with slightly different text on them.

There’s nothing interesting here. No neat level-up mechanics, no choices, no loot collection.

Mark’s Student Council Score: 10 ecchi boners out of 250 ecchi boners.


I am trying out some sweet Frankenculture catchphrases.


  1. Too easy or too difficult is never good. Judging from your pro and cons lists there really isn’t much to be excited about so I shall skip this one! Thanks for the advice, gotta love a short and sweet review.

    Would you be interested in sharing your thoughts and opinions on our gaming platform, Now Loading? I’d like to invite you to join the platform, and I’d love to hear from you so I can to expand on that. Feel free to shoot me an e-mail, my contact details are on my “About” page. Hopefully talk soon!


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